ROSA ROSA ROSA ROSA! DEBAUCHERY!

So in Music Tutorial on Thursday, Mel had us listen to this 'opera' by a composer named Louis Andriessen, who is, as you will soon realize, absolutely insane. I mean, completely and fully insane.

Let me try and summarize the opera.

There's a woman. She's engaged to this composer who writes music for Spaghetti Westerns. The year is 1957. He has a horse, portrayed on stage by a stuffed (real) horse on a treadmill, which looks like it's walking. It's black. He cares more about the horse than her.

At one point, the gigolos (of course there are gigolos. Why? I haven't the foggiest. Having read the libretto and listened to the music did not illuminate this point. That's the sort of opera this is) or some other members of the chorus rip the clothes off this woman (I think her name is Esmerelda) and she goes through the rest of the opera stark naked. Although, at some point thereafter, she covers herself in black ink, head to toe, in an attempt to become the horse. Now, at this point, the composer wanders through the room and flips a coin over whether he wants to a) make love to his fiancee or b) write music. (Jay: "I find myself in that position all the time.")

Now, inevitably, at this point in the opera, you as an audience member must be wondering, "Hmm... are 24 bovine ghosts portrayed by naked men with brooms and leather aprons going to appear, lie down on the stage, and hang from it as it raises up and becomes a wall, and if so, will this happen soon?" Well, I am pleased to reassure you that that happens next. Approximately. Thus ends Act I.

So then, after the intermission or whatever, the gigolos have suddenly become cowboys in one of the Spaghetti Westerns. The composer is assassinated, presumbably by one of the gigolo/cowboys. The composer had wanted to have his horse stuffed, and the chorus knows this, so they do the obvious thing, by opera logic, which is, of course, to stuff the horse with the naked, ink-smeared-greiving-almost-widow. So now the actress is naked, covered in ink, and crammed inside what was once a living animal but is now an exercise in taxidermy. And we still have quite a bit of opera to go.

So then, naturally, the Investigatrix shows up, because she needs to investigate. Somewhere around here, they discover that the composer had wanted his horse to be burned when he died. Thus, they burn the horse, still stuffed with widow, apparently in a fairly realistic fashion. We are encouraged to examine the clues. Then, the opera ends, and a character called the "Index Singer" comes out and sings the glossary of the opera in about a 10 minute hip-hop piece.

The strangest thing about this opera is the fact that it's WILDLY popular in Holland. It's been produced and revived over and over and it always sells out and is the hottest ticket in town. The only explaination I can find is that many substances that are controlled in the US are not controlled in the Netherlands.

A few quotes from the discussion of the opera:

"What happens with the fiancee and the horse?"
"She's in the horse, curtain down, right?"
"No, she sings an aria from inside the horse, right?"
Mel: "No, actually, she's burned to death inside the horse."
All: "Oh."

"The opera doesn't live in HappyLand."
"What about SuggestionLand?"
(Note: In labs, whenever one makes an unsolicited suggestion about another's piece, it's referred to as SuggestionLand, although occasionally, things come from the Isle of Ideas or the Place of Proposals also. This practice is universally considered to be lame, and is used by almost everyone.)

"He always wanted to be a Western Gigolo."

Student: "Are the saxes chasing each other?"
Teacher: "Do you want to go back and listen?"
All Students: "NO!"

The Cowboys:

GET UP, ROSA!
WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE THE CORPSE.
WHO WOULD EVER WANT TO KILL A COMPOSER?

Me: "At this point in the show?"

"Ah, so this is the stuffing scene."

"So the obvious choice is to stuff his wife. 'Lets take the grieving widow and stuff her into the horse.'"
"Is he a live horse?"
"So when they stuffed her body into the horse, where did they stuff her? Which part? Is there a little door? Little stairs?"

"So after Rosa [the composer] dies, suddenly he sings in falsetto. Lying over the back of the horse. Dead. He's been emasculated by his death."
"You cross over the River Falsetto."
"Yeah, but you get Styx back later."

No attributions here because I didn't write them down and don't remember. 7 hours of lab tomorrow, then home, packing, cleaning, and flying to Missouri. I do not promise to blog until I make it to Missouri, but I'll try.

Miscellaneous Quote of the Day

"It makes me want to stick pencils up my nose and slam my head against the table." -- Jay

I honestly have no recollection of what "it" referred to. It might be funnier this way.

Kill Thousands of Evil Birds with One Gigantic, Explosive Stone

Netscape News Headline:'Holy Warriors' Flock to Join Zarqawi in Iraq

Wouldn't be awful if one of them thar Mother of All Bombs fell on that little family reunion?

Incidentally, the article doesn't reflect the headline as much as you'd think it might.

Go Condi! Go Condi! Go, Go, Go Condi!

This here is a marvelous piece about faith by our own Condi Rice. You really really really ought to read it all, but if you can't, for some reason, mobilize your mouse metatarsal to access it, here are a few excerpts.

Throughout my life I have never doubted the existence of God, but, like most people, I have had some ups and downs in practicing my faith. After I moved to California in 1981, there were a lot of years when I was not attending church regularly.

Then something happened that I will always remember. One Sunday morning, I was approached at the supermarket by a man buying some things for his church picnic. He asked me, "Do you play the piano by any chance?" I said, "Yes." And he said his congregation was looking for someone to play the piano at their church. It was a small African-American church and I started playing there every Sunday. And I thought to myself, "My goodness, God has a long reach - all the way to a Lucky's Supermarket in the spice section on a Sunday morning."

The only problem was, it was a Baptist church and I don't play gospel very well, unlike our great Attorney General John Ashcroft. I play Brahms. So I called my mother for advice. She said, "Honey, just play in C and they'll come back to you." And that's true. If you play in C, the foundational key in music, people will come back. Perhaps God plays in C, and that's why we always seem to find our way back to Him, sometimes in spite of ourselves.

I personally play in D-flat, but perhaps there are capos in heaven. Whole-piano capos.

American slaves used to sing, "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen - Glory Hallelujah!" Growing up, I would often wonder at the seeming contradiction contained in this line. But as I grew older, I came to learn that there is no contradiction at all.

Struggle doesn't just strengthen us to survive hard times - it is also the key foundation for true optimism and accomplishment. Indeed, personal achievement without struggle somehow feels incomplete and hollow. It is true too for human kind - because nothing of lasting value has ever been achieved without sacrifice.

[...]

If terror and tragedy spur us to rediscover and strengthen these commitments, then we can truly say that some good has come from great loss. And in all the trials that may lie ahead, we will carry these commitments close to our heart so we may leave a better world for those who follow.

I like the idea of her representing me to the world.

Divert Your Eyes!

Attack of the Dancing UPS Queens!

Hillary the (Not-so-) Inevitable

Yesterday, I was having lunch with my band of lovable liberals in the East Village (digression: can I just say how much I love Indian food? Especially at lunchtime -- the lunch specials on 6th street are amazing -- $5 and you get vegetable and banana pakoras, samosas, papadum, mulligatawny soup, dal, basmati rice, and the meat curry (or korma or masala or whatever) of your choice, plus a few other things that I think I'm forgetting at the moment. Amazing) at Sonali, and somehow, the conversation meandered tangentially to politics, and I, perhaps hopped up on curry, did something very brave -- I spoke. Specifically, I mentioned what I had read in that morning's Metro (Tatyana, did you see this?), which was one of those "man on the street" interviews where they pull over random New Yorkers and ask them a random question about current events, and generally get a collection of idiotic opinions. In this case, the question was something to the effect of "Should Colin Powell run against Hillary Clinton for Senate in '06?" or something related. One of the guys, a 30-something black guy from Brooklyn, answered: "I think Hillary would be better because she has more experience with New York."

Alright, folks, quick pop quiz:
Where did Colin Powell grow up?
A) Jamaica
B) Jamaica Bay, Brooklyn
C) Birmingham, Alabama
D) The South Bronx

That's right, D. The South Bronx. In New York. He was born in Harlem. Also in New York. Where did Hillary grow up? In Illinois. Which is not in New York. Then she spent 12 years as the First Lady of Arkansas. Which is also conspicuously Not In New York. So then, she spent 8 years as the First Lady of the United States, the residence of whom is, amazingly, also Not in New York. Finally, she moved to New York, and several weeks later, ran for Senate. To recap: Colin Powell -- From New York. Hillary Rodham Clinton -- Not from New York. Moving on.

So anyway, I brought this up at lunch, very very carefully, because I knew I was around Democrats, and from reading the news, I know how beloved Hillary is among Democrats, and presumably even moreso among New York Democrats.

I was, then, rather surprised when to a man/woman/other, they expressed rage/anger/ennui towards Santa Hillita. I couldn't find one person who would stand up for her. And this woman is supposed to be the Democratic standard bearer and rescue the party? And it wasn't that my East Village friends had a problem with her being too centrist or anything -- they just don't LIKE her. And if she can't even win the hearts and minds of the Village people, how on earth does she intend to win the red states?

(Actually, what I could see happening is basically Hillary being Kerry-redux, in that she gets nominated because she's the one who can win, except that she can't because no one likes her. But we shall see.)

Watcher's Council

This week's winners are:

Council post:
Condi’s First Meeting As SecState With the Saudis... In Riyadh
Aaron's Rantblog

Non-council post:
Watcha Gonna Do
Cold Fury
(I nominated him -- go me!)

Full results are here. Good times.

Turned to Stone

If you were wondering, my cute little troll James has been banned. What did it? Well, as some of you may know, there are very few things that annoy me more than the whole "Bush is a moron" bit, for a variety of reasons, and the fact of the matter is, I do this for fun. I have to deal with all sorts of annoying people on a daily basis, but I do not necessarily have to put up with them in my comment section. I let him stay for a while and warned him that continued harping on that particular point was a a banning offence, and he decided to go with it.

Just for posterity, here's how it went:

I said:

Just so you know, variations on the "Bush is stupid" meme are a banning offence here at the Resplendent Mango. Consider yourself warned.

He replied:

Bush is a complete moron.

It's pretty evident though, that you would support him no matter what. Not much more to say about that.

Ban me from your site if you wish. It will upset me a lot, but not because I find your site to be that great, but because you totally fail to see the danger in the Nazi-esque censorship that's in full swing these days.
There are scary times ahead of us. Blind support of Bush is going to have devastating consequences.

Let it never be said that I don't follow through. And lest it be said that I'm stiffling dissent... James is welcome to set-up his own blog, something to the effect of http://bushisanevilchimpymoronwhocanttellthedifferencebetweenpacifistic-europeannnationsandisalsoanevilgeniusnazihitlerperson.blogspot.com and send me a trackback, and I'll put up a link, at the top of my site for a whole day, that way all of you who enjoy his version of free speech can enjoy it there.

Political Art

I have lots of thoughts on political art, but I'm not going to get into it tonight. However, I have two thoughts. One, is this article from NRO. Go read it. It's about moonbats and the New York art world. It's pretty self-explanitory. We'll call that "How not to do political art." Second, is what we'll call "How To Do Political Art." You should find and listen to this song (I recommend the Audra McDonald version), but for now, read the lyric and marvel in its beauty, poignancy, and fairly evenhanded treatment of the world's most inflammatory subject -- abortion. This is how it ought to be done.

Come to Jesus
by Adam Guettel

EMILY:
Dearest Matthew,

I am writing you from the waiting room. I'm next. Doctor Mujit says I'll barely feel a thing. Ninety seconds. There's a vintage ad for Jello on the wall. Real quaint. I know we'd laugh if you were here right now, in spite of everything. Oh Matthew, let's not let this tear us apart. I believe this little soul will cradle, cradle in heaven until the day we can accept him together. Together. For you and for me and for the child, I pray.

Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
He will save you just now
Just now come to Jesus
Come to Jesus just now.

He will save you.
He will save you
He will save you just now
Just now he will save you
He will save you just now.

Oh believe him, he is able
He is willing
He'll recieve you
Cling to Jesus
Call unto him

MATTHEW:
Dear Emily,
I write from the airport. I'm going a way for a while. I couldn't love you like you wanted, but I did love you -- I do. It's just that after what has happened, something's ruined, you feel it too, dying, and I can't look anymore. To love is to be accompanied, guided by an angel, but I've driven it away, and we are alone now. Maybe you're right, maybe that soul will cradle in heaven and will come to you one day... For that, and for forgiveness, I pray.

MATTHEW (overlapping EMILY):
Come to Je-sus
Come to Je-sus
Come to Je-sus just now
Just now come to Je-sus
Come to Je-sus just now
He will hear you
He will hear you
Come to Je-sus just now
Oh, Oh, be-lieve him
He'll re-new you
He'll for-give you
He'll for give you
Ah...

EMILY (overlapping MICHAEL):
Come to Je-sus
Come to Je-sus
He will save you
Oh be-lieve him
He is a-ble
He'll re-ceive you
He will hear you, come
He'll have mer-cy come
He'll for-give you
He will cleanse you, come
Come to Je-sus just now
Just now come to Je-sus
Come to Je-sus just now
He'll for-give you
Ah...  

And THAT'S how you write about a controversial subject.                                

More quotes

[Caution: Adult Language Ahead]

Ooh, ooh, one more quote from today. This one may be my favorite, aside from the "No-bo" comment.

Jay: "Instead of 'fucking bitch-ass turd,' can I please say 'fucking bitch-ass ho'? That's the proper term."
Me: "Well, if you must.... but I really wanted 'turd' to rhyme with 'word' on the next line."
Jay: "Well fine then. But it won't be proper."

The Council Has Spoken

This week's Council winners are:
Kerry’s Marginal Futility - 2004 Blue State Trend Analysis from Aaron's Rantblog

Too Dumb To Vote by Just One Minute

Full results are here.
Also notable: I actually got VOTES this week!

CRAZY day yesterday. Hopefully regular blogging will resume today.

Lileks...

Boy, James Lileks is in fine form this morning.

Our paper had this headline: “Enduring Symbol of Palestine Dies.” Personally, I’m old school. I’d go with something, oh, factual, like “ARAFAT DEAD.” Hard to argue. Hard to find bias. I don’t know what would be satisfying, really. “Goaty Old Fiend Expires, Loses Power, Fortune, Bowel Control; Fills Room with Odor of Offal and Urine” would put people off their breakfast, I suppose. I am content to know he is not in Hell. Nope. Arafat did not go to Hell. He boards the ferry, yes; he makes it halfway across the River Styx, yes. Then the ferry blows up. Ten times a day for eternity. For a start.

Fiesty!

UPDATE: Oh...cannot breathe...laughing too hard...eyeballs may pop from sockets.... Sit in a comfortable place, get a nice bowl to catch your eyeballs should the worst happen, and start here. Then go here and here or just keep hitting 'next'. Good luck!)

Scary

You know you're a lot like someone when:
You're both scrambling for a word and come up with the same word at the same time.

You know you're scarily like someone when:
You're both scrambling for a word and come up with the same word at the same time and the word is 'dexterous'.

I'm Still Here

Wednesdays are awful. Class from 10:30-7:15 with three 10-minute breaks. If we were employees, that would be illegal, but we're paying them, so it's not. I'm going to try to post some fun quotes some time soon. When I have free time. Right. And then it took over an hour to get home because apparently a building collapsed at 108th street, doing something bad to the 6 line, and therefore messing up all trains on the 4-5-6 line during rush hour. Not pleasant. Must remember to allow extra time in the morning for the commute. Hopefully, the good people of MTA will have at least figured out a good strategy by then. Or maybe I'll take the bus.


Funniest lyric of the day: "Vladimir, you turn me on."

The South is Risen! It is Risen Indeed!

I think it's fair to say that we, as a nation, aren't quite over the Civil War yet, and I think, considering that the coasts and Great Lakes are muttering about secession, it's worth discussing at the moment. This is basically going to be a collection of loosely related thoughts, and if, at the end, there seems to be a coherent point, that'll be great. If not, well, I warned ya.

First off, it's interesting that the blue states, by and large, are states where the Civil War wasn't fought. There are a few major exceptions, but for the most part, none of the blue states were ever conquered turf.

Second, I've lived in the South, the North, the Middle, and Florida, and heard all kinds of interesting perspectives on the South from people I've encountered. One thing that Yankees tend to find laughable is the idea that "The South will rise again." Well, folks, it did officially on Tuesday, but it's been rising for a while now -- the Yanks just didn't notice. This time around, the Southern strategy was a little like the conservative/captialist strategy, which is "Ignore their protests and crush them economically," except in this case, it was "Ignore their protests and crush them electorally." Whatever. It took 140 years, but essentially, the South has won this round.

Third, you don't see WWI reenactors, do you? No. WWII? No. Vietnam (Stand down, Mr. Kerry!)? No, not usually. But Civil War, yes, all the time. We're not over it.

UPDATE: Lookee here.

Arafat

This was by far the most interesting theory I read before 8:30 this morning:

Former White House speechwriter David Frum has joined the growing chorus of pundits, medical experts, and intelligence operatives who claim Yasser Arafat is likely suffering from AIDS.

Frum, a key figure in Republican politics and the man who coined the terms "axis of evil," writes in National Review Online that Arafat's undisclosed illness is well-known, but has been kept under wraps by the mainstream media.

"Speaking of media bias, here's a question you won't hear in our big papers or on network TV: Does Yasser Arafat have AIDS?" asks Frum, who also writes for the National Post.

"We know he has a blood disease that is depressing his immune system. We know that he has suddenly dropped considerable weight -- possibly as much as one-third of all his body weight. We know that he is suffering intermittent mental dysfunction. What does this sound like?"

Earlier, John Loftus told John Batchelor on ABC radio on October 26 that Arafat is dying from AIDS. Loftus said the CIA has known this about Arafat for quite awhile and that as a result the US has encouraged Sharon not to take Arafat out because the US has known Arafat was about done. It was deemed better to have Arafat discredited as a homosexual.

Although homosexuality is rife in the Arab world, it is at least officially consider a sin and a crime, and regarded--especially in fundamentalist circles--as a mark of great shame and depravity.

[...]

Medical observers note that a low blood platelet count is a sign of a weakened immune system, and indeed last week there were reports of a complete collapse of Arafat's immune system. Other than the ruled-out cancer, the low count could be attributed to bleeding ulcers, colitis, liver disease, lupus, or HIV. It is believed that ulcers and colitis have already been ruled out.

Arafat has lost a considerable amount of body weight. Hopital d'Instruction des Armees de Percy, southwest of Paris, is known to have some of France's best HIV/AIDS doctors. Other medical experts note that Arafat's activities in recent weeks and months suggest the dementia that accompanies late-stage AIDS.

Medical authorities not connected directly to his case are suggesting that he may have HIV/AIDS. One doctor reported to an Israel Insider source that his suspicions have been growing for more than a year.

"I began to see tell tale signs of kaposis sarcoma. His Parkinsonian tremor was more than just a Parkinsonian tremor and he was also showing signs of weakness. The rumor about homosexuality/bisexuality has been around for decades. So I put two and two together when they started talking about his health over a year ago. The talk of a mysterious illness in this day and age should be a tip-off. He has some of the best physicians in the world attending to him. He can be diagnosed clinically, without perfoming any tests. All the doctors surrounding him know what he has.

Now that they mention it, AIDS does sound about right for his symptoms. Maybe I've just spent too much time with Angels in America lately, but I totally buy the idea. Very interesting. Generally, I would say that anyone dying of AIDS is a tragedy. I make an exception for Arafat. Interestingly, if Arafat has AIDS from homosexual encounters, does that preclude him from being treated as a holy martyr? I guess that would depend on if word gets out.

The Council Has Spoken

I attempted this once already, but here goes again.

Winning Council Entry:
Fear Itself
Ubique Patriam Reminisci



Winning Non-Council Entry:
Terry McAuliffe
The (Not So) Daily Me

Full results here.

Pictures, Getcher Pictures!

Alright, I promised pictures and here they are.

First off, from the Watch Party, right at the end, as we were leaving, we have this of myself and Heidi. She's a liberal, I'm a conservative, and there are two gay(ish) guys hugging in the background. Divided country my foot.



Second, also from the Watch Party, we have my friend Jay (D-Michigan) cleaning up. As you can see, we had ample provisions for the liberals to drown their sorrows.



Third, an anecdote and a picture: When I sneeze, I sneeze upwards of 10 times in a row. For Halloween, I was Pippi Longstockings. We went to Kiev, next door to school to get some food. Kiev is a nice place, with a great ambiance, little candles on the table, etc. I started sneezing. As I sneezed, I leaned further and further over the table, until one of my braids landed in a candle and ignited. Apparently, I resembled Lumiere. Fortunately, one of the boys was thinking relatively quickly (although not so quickly as to have moved the candle out of the way in the first place) and blew me out. No significant damage, but it smelled awful. Wasn't I cute...?



And finally, for those of you who were so concerned when we misplaced Jamie, a picture:



Ain't he darling?

Houston, We Have A Troll

Straight from the comments threads, The Resplendent Mango is proud to present.... JAMES!

Man, you people are retarded. Why in the world does Bush make you feel safe from terrorism?

I guess you never stopped to realize that when 9/11 happened, he did nothing to stop it, and that when he went to war with Iraq, he effectively gave everyone in the middle east yet another reason to join the terrorists' side.

George W Bush declared war on terror, and everything he has done since has only made things worse. We are losing the war on terror. Your life is in danger now more than it ever was, all because of one man, and the worst part is that you're too ignorant to even realize it. Man, you and people like you are so retarded. I will never understand it.

I don't feel like fisking, but feel free. I think that generally, the best way of dealing with this sort of thing is to expose it to sunlight and the ridicule of the masses, so have at it, folks.

Thoughts for Democrats, Liberals, and other Depressed People

Sit down, grab a glass of cider and let Aunt Katie learn you what you need to know.

Alright, you wanna win elections? You do? Well, then here's what you're gonna have to do: you're gonna have to get us to vote for you. Yeah, us. Us the red-necks, us the idiots, us the ignorant, us the religious, us the hawks, us the pro-life, us the bigots, whatever it is that you think we are, and I've heard you spouting some pretty darned nasty names for us the past few days. Us. You need us to win. Pretty much all the vote there was to be gotten out was got out and there were more of us than of you. That means you have a problem.

So, how do you get us to vote for you? Well, laying off on the 'stupid' bit would go a long way. For example, this commenter says, "Bush got Florida, and most of the other states with a low IQ average. Surprise, surprise...", to which I have three responses. First, that's a bunch of hooey, especially as the IQ point spread is about 10 points between the "smartest" state and the "dumbest" state. You know what a 10 point variance in IQ means? Not a lot. Second, if it were the case that the Bush states were dumber, what's wrong with you people that you couldn't brainwash the weak into voting for you? What kind of wolves are you that you can't pick off the slow sheep? Third, the fact that you write us red-staters off as idiots does not cause us to want to join your cause, and does not help you in figuring out what would appeal to us.

While you're at it, can we please, for the rest of eternity, let the 'Chimpy McBushitler is a Moron and Evil Genius' paradox go? Just take the Evil Genius and go with it. It's more fun, and frankly, it's less insulting to ya'll to have gotten your fruit laquered by a genius than an idiot. Twice.

On the religion bit -- religious voters want to do business with religious people. When you go around complaining about religious people, this does not make them want to join you. We get our masochism needs fulfilled by religious guilt, thank you, we do not need you to add to our sufferings. So I'd lay off on the open distain -- we can hear you.

Back on the 'not assuming the people you need to convince are stupid' front, let's talk women for a second. We're not idiots either. We like pretty men. We're not gonna lie. Hugh Jackman? Wonderful. Matt Damon? Highly decorative. Johnny Depp? Uh-huh. We like 'em. We buy tickets to see them in things. We might even sometimes vote for them in little online polls. But not for the presidency, thank you very much. Don't think for a second that you can buy our vote for the most powerful man in the world with good hair. That's insulting. And quite frankly, when we need an attractive man to look at, we'll get a professional to do it properly, okay? We need a president, not a pin-up, and we know it. It was insulting for the suffragettes to have to deal with arguments that women would be too emotional to vote, would be inclined to vote for the most attractive candidate, etc, and I have to say, almost 85 years later, it's still insulting.

If, just maybe, you started with the assumption that women, religious people, conservatives, etc, were rational, intelligent people and tried appealing to us on that level, you might get somewhere. And, (and this is a big step) if you don't get anywhere, it might be well advised not to reverse your assumption -- it's tacky, and besides, you need all the bodies you can get -- better leave the doors open and the lights on.

Irony Watch

In lab the other day, I had an interesting moment of irony. Two of our guys were doing a duet which involved one brother who was a soldier in Iraq and another who was a protester. The soldier was about to go into battle, and was singing to his men, and the protester was about to go into...protest, I guess, and was singing to his men, women, and others. They were also singing to each other, which led to a very interesting moment, when the protester in DC said something to the effect of, "Can't you hear what [other countries] are screaming beyond our borders?" to the brother in Iraq. And I found it rather amusing and ironic that the protester, nice and safe in DC, was lecturing the GI on how the world is overseas. I feel like this irony is not just limited to this particular song, but to an entire worldview.

W@tch Party!

In about an hour, I'll be heading over to watch election results come in. I'll attempt to be blogging here. I will not have comments enabled there, but you can comment here if you'd like. See you over there!

UPDATE: I do have comments now! Yay!

My Endorsement

I voted for George Bush. Simple as that. Why? Because there is exactly one issue that I care about more than anything else and that's terrorism. I take the busiest subway line in New York City every day at rush hour, passing under major landmarks in our tightly packed cars. Every day, I wonder, "Should I take the bus today?" because, I must confess, I don't want to die underground. Just a personal preference, but when I go to die, I want to go where I can see the sky, to borrow from Floyd Collins. Is it irrational and paranoid for me to be worried about someone blowing up my subway car? I don't know. Terrorists really did kill thousands of people just south of here, as hard as it is to believe. In Madrid, they really did blow up commuter trains. There's a part of me that thinks that I myself am invincible, that it couldn't happen to me, and another part knows that it can.

The New York subway system is impossible to secure -- you can't screen every passenger for explosives or whatever -- and thus impossible to defend from terrorists if we're just enforcing them. Since we can't fight them here, I strongly support George Bush's efforts to take the fight overseas, to kill the terrorists and change the cultures that bred them.

Osama's new campaign video is seductive -- it seems to offer peace for surrender. On the surface, that might make me feel better, to cast my vote for neutrality and a feeling of safety. That's what I want, after all. But you know what? Screw you, Osama. Screw you and the camel you came in on. If there is any surrender, it will be yours, not ours. We are proud and free and we do not take kindly to threats. I'll take my chances with Dubya hunting you down, thank you. If you want this all to be over, you can issue a fatwa declaring peace and demanding your followers disarm and go take up shepherding, and then you get your scrawny tail to the nearest US base and surrender. We won't behead you, at the very least.

Capitulation is tempting, but I reject it. I voted for George W. Bush and I did it proudly. I trust him and his single-minded determination to protect me. I don't always agree with him, but where it counts, he's exactly right.

FOUR MORE YEARS!